You know when you sometimes go onto Craigslist.org and look at people selling bikes and equipment and there is a little disclaimer at the top that says:
Avoid scams and fraud by dealing locally! Beware any deal involving Western Union, Moneygram, wire transfer, cashier check, money order, shipping, escrow, or any promise of transaction protection/certification/guarantee.
While I am a lover of the Craigslist.org and I have sold a thing or two on there, I more or less assume that Craigslist is a utopian idea of trade, buy and barter; that we’re all in the same gang, sort of speak. This is apparently not true. Ã‚Â I suppose it doesn’t take a brainiac to realize that the disclaimer listed above is there for a reason. Ã‚Â Sure, I heard about the guy using Craigslist to lure prostitutes into remote hotel rooms only to kill them, wear their shoes, or their skin or what have you, but I would think that selling something as simple as a bike wouldn’t merit shady dealings.
So I was horrified by this story I heard yesterday. Ã‚Â It goes like this:
A man who we will simply call Jesus (to commemorate Easter this weekend AND secure this guy’s identity) was selling his white 58 cm Specialized Tarmac Pro SL ’09 on the Craigslist. Ã‚Â The first person to respond to Jesus’ ad was a guy going by the name of Max Langley. Ã‚Â He was interested, but wanted an extended test, one that would allow some time to see how the bike climbs. Ã‚Â So Max and Jesus’ met. Ã‚Â they shook hands and took off on a short ride together. Ã‚Â So they make it down a hill after the short climb and when Jesus turns around, Max is gone. Ã‚Â At first Jesus was concerned that Max may have fallen, so he rode back up and back to check. Ã‚Â Max had fled.
So Jesus has since filed a police report and has a description. Ã‚Â Max claimed to Jesus to live in New Carrolton and they hooked up at the MARC (commuter train) Station in Laurel, Maryland. Ã‚Â Max is a white dude, about 5’10″, roughly 140 lbs (described as cyclist skinny), about 25 years old, black hair, a full but well kept beard. Ã‚Â Max also has a nasty scar to go with his nasty disposition, on his right forearm near the elbow. Ã‚Â He was using Look pedals, had Nike shoes and at the time was wearing an old grey USPS kit and wore a Giro helmet. Ã‚Â Oh, and apparently Max is a complete asshole too.
While Jesus isn’t holding out hope for his bike, I thought it would be nice to talk about this story for a few reasons. Ã‚Â Protect yourself. Ã‚Â Maybe keep something as collateral if they’re taking your bike, especially one as beautiful as Jesus’ bike. Ã‚Â I would also call for a public crucifixion to someone like this, but as a regular writer and ok following on District Cycling, that would be insensitive and irresponsible. Ã‚Â That and Jesus doesn’t really want to see one from the other side. Ã‚Â Ok, bad joke, and all me. Ã‚Â It’s a good thing Jesus died for me so I could be forgiven. Ok, I’m digging a hole.
So, if you hear anything about this, and you want to get in touch with ‘Jesus’, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Ã‚Â Otherwise, stay safe folks, keep your head on straight, rubberside down, and have a swell weekend of eggs, candy, baskets, chocolate and our Lord and Savior.
P.S. This is a true story and that is not funny.