Groupetto Grumblings by Adam: Killing Brain Cells

So I wonder what Andy Hampsten was really thinking in this photo. Was he thinking “I’m such a bad ass mofo and I’m gonna win the Giro”? Or was he thinking “These mofo’s don’t pay me enough for this, I think I just lost a toe”?

Either way there is something about cycling that makes me suspend common sense and do things my friends look at me and say you are crazy for doing. I wouldn’t walk outside in my underwear when it’s 40 degrees outside, but I would put on some lycra and ride my bike?  Perhaps I will take it a step further and take pictures of myself, tweet it to my friends, feeling like I conquered Everast or something.

I’d like to think I am a pretty smart guy. I make good decisions in life. But since I started cycling, I feel like I’ve gotten dumber proportional to the mileage on my Garmin. Here is a list of things I’ve started doing since becoming a cyclist. Well since becoming an adult cyclist, which only means I spend more money than I should and I ride in lycra.

1. Drinking coffee. I hated the stuff. But I saw a picture of some professionals sipping expresso and I thought it would make me fast. -50 points in IQ

2. Riding when it’s below freezing. I’m African American. I am a descendant of tropical people. We might be the first to die in movies, but we keep our asses out of the cold. -75 points in IQ

3. Eating anything that doesn’t look like food. This includes Powerbars, energy gels, and Cliff Bars. It’s all disgusting, but I eat it anyways. -50 points in IQ

4. Twitter. I only joined so I could follow Lance Armstrong. Now I can’t complete a thought that is more than 143 charec

5. I had a fifth one, but I can’t remember it.

Look, I love cycling, but I can think of better ways to kill brain cells.

Adam